Empathy and Lament Study (Week 2)
Empathy: Lamenting with Others
Empathy and Sympathy
“Empathy and sympathy are often grouped together, but they are very different. Empathy is a skill that can bring people together and make people feel included, while sympathy creates an uneven power dynamic and can lead to more isolation and disconnection.”
—Brené Brown
The purpose of this week's study is to:
Grow in our understanding of the similarities and differences between empathy and sympathy
Deepen our understanding of the requirements and costs of empathy
Continue listening empathetically to the story of a member of the St. Mark’s community, allowing the Holy Spirit to teach us through others’ experiences
Video
This video is divided into 2 parts. We recommend pausing it after part 1 and engaging in the part 1 discussion questions below, before moving onto part 2 of the video.
Discussion Questions: Part 1
Have you ever received advice or direction (however well-intended) that hurt you and your situation? Describe your experiences.
What does “just give it to God” mean to you? Can you see how it would be confusing to a new believer like it was for Virgo?
Can you recall a specific time when you have felt especially lonely? What was it like?
Think about a difficult time when someone has been there for you. What did this look like, and how did it feel? Have you been that person for someone else?
How do you feel about the statement that “it’s ok to be broken”? Is this a foreign concept to you?
(When your group has discussed these questions, return to the video and watch part 2. Discussion questions for part 2 are below.)
Discussion Questions: Part 2
Why do you think empathy is costly? What does empathy require of us that sympathy does not?
What do you think is behind the need we sometimes have to “fix” someone else’s problems instead of simply being with them in their struggle?
What responses from other people have you found helpful during a season of struggle? What reactions have you found to be unhelpful?
As was said in the video, a “ministry of presence” is a powerful way to demonstrate empathy. Can you think of a time when another’s presence helped you during a difficult time? Can you think of times when the space someone gave you was the gift you needed?
How can our service of lamenting with others positively impact us?
Questions for Reflection
With whom do you find it easiest to lament and show empathy? With whom do you find it hardest? What might be some of the reasons for these patterns?
Write a prayer asking God to help you become more like Jesus by demonstrating empathy.
