Empathy and Lament Study (Week 1)
Praise: Lamenting with God
Introducing the Lost Language of Lament
Mark Vroegop, pastor and author of Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament, writes: "Lament is the honest cry of a hurting heart, wrestling with the paradox of pain and the promise of God's goodness."
The purpose of this week's study is to:
Clarify our understanding of lament (What it is and isn't).
Listen empathetically to the stories of St. Mark's Community Church members, allowing the Holy Spirit to teach us through others' experiences.
Allow space to reflect on and discuss our thoughts, fears, and experiences with the practice of lament.
Video
This video is divided into 2 parts. We recommend pausing it after part 1 and engaging in the part 1 discussion questions below, before moving onto part 2 of the video.
Discussion Questions: Part 1
What do you do when you feel worried, sad, angry, or powerless? Do you tend to avoid, resist, reframe, wallow, or embrace negative emotions? In general, what is your natural response to negative emotions?
What messages did you receive growing up that shaped your narrative about coping with emotions, particularly negative ones?
What are some misconceptions you had about lament before this week?
In the video, Fil distinguished "complaint" from "lament," contrasting the grumbling of the Hebrew people in Exodus with the pleas of the Psalms, saying: "Complaint is an accusation against God that slanders God's character, but lament is an appeal to God, based on confidence in God's character."
How do you understand the differences between complaint and lament? How does it help clarify or reframe your thoughts on lament?
(When your group has discussed these questions, return to the video and watch part 2. Discussion questions for part 2 are below.)
Discussion Questions: Part 2
Reflect on Jim's story of losing his wife, Beth, to cancer. How do you imagine you would feel in that situation? What would you want to express to God?
At the beach, Jim and Beth had a difficult conversation in which they faced—directly, with honesty and transparency—the fact that Beth would most likely not make it until Thanksgiving or Christmas.
How important is honesty before God when facing our circumstances, no matter how difficult?
Have you ever experienced the need for such transparency before God? If you feel comfortable, consider sharing at your table.
Author Ann Voskamp writes: "Lament is a cry of belief in a good God, a God who has his ear to our hearts, a God who transfigures the ugly into beauty."
When have you sensed God's “ear to your heart”?
Where have you seen God transfigure the ugly into something beautiful in your life, or others’ lives?
Conclusion
Last Sunday, Pete introduced us to the "Language of Lament," explaining that "when we lament, we do so as a sign of our belief in God. Our prayer is a recognition that our painful experiences, suffering, tears, depression, and anxiety are not His intention but a sign of our world's brokenness.”
Following are the four elements of biblical lament:
1. Prayerfully reach out to God, even if it's messy.
2. Candidly talk to God about your frustrations and struggles.
3. Boldly ask for God's help
4. Choose to trust God. Remember that confidence in God's trustworthiness is the aim and destination of all laments.
If time allows, write a personal prayer of lament.
